Funny rules for dating

As a new boyfriend, you’d rather get your skull drilled than meet your date’s old man for the first time, yet meet him you did.

You’d throw your shoulders back and wipe your clammy paw against your sweater in anticipation of his too-firm handshake.

Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object.

However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck.

If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Editor’s note: We have recently found out that the “Rules for Dating My Son” were taken from the blog of April Sopczak.

It was a humorous take on the “Rules for Dating My Daughter.” See April’s original post here.

If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating.

My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge.

Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early." Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls.

This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.

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